Sherlock Holmes!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

Excuses Excuses

Top 10 reasons for not submitting the assignment -
1. Sir, I forgot. (The old cliché.)
2. My dog was ill. / My report was eaten by the dog. (what a lame argument)
3. The aliens invaded and took away my intelligence. ( Hmm.. meet Rakesh Roshan)
4. My neighbor kept singing songs in his/her loud voice. ( I commiserate)
5. I got a computer virus which formatted my system. ( Typical Computer Engineer reply.)
6. I thought the assignment email was yet another spam and deleted it without bothering to read. (My favorite.)
7. My horoscope said I would die if I did my assignment. (A little hansy-pansy won’t hurt.)
8. I have forgotten how to write. ( Well, I really have after so much typing.)
9. I was trying to solve the Da-Vinci puzzle. (To tell you this isn’t old.)
10. The doctor has advised me not to do assignments. (But the doctors are on strike!)